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click here to watch it online!
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06
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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A tense urban thriller in which a gauche youth is drawn in by a sophisticated seductress after he discovers her mobile phone ringing in the street.
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Louise does have an incredibly seductive and calming voice, so the boy is screwed the minute he answers. Louise looks great, and the director/DP do a great job of lighting and finding new and interesting angles to shoot. // A cautionary tale warning of the pitfalls of a free cellphone. ;)
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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A terrorist organization know as "Ansar Allah" is preparing to turn the city of Rome into a City of Dead. But the heroism of Smolin, professionalism of Catherine Stone, help of Umar (from Chechnya) together with the cooperation of Russian and western special forces will save the world from evil terrorists.
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[no comment]
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08
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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Set in 1890, this is the story of a Pony Express courier who travels to Saudi Arabia to compete with his horse, Hidalgo, in a dangerous 3000 mille race.
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Priceless stud fee be damned, who *wouldn't* try to seduce Viggo Mortensen if given the chance? Louise plays the vilainess, makes a good show of it, and was almost sympathetic for a spell... till she hatched her woman-scorned plan to kill that adorable little paint pony. (Do what you want to the humans, but leave the animals out of it!) Ok, I'm a sucker for any horse movie, and this one's quite good: Worth seeing, if only for above-mentioned adorable pony (TJ!), for a dusty Viggo (who, in additon to being incredibly sexy, can really sit a horse)... and to try to answer the age old question: "In the desert, how does one keep sand out of a cup of tea?"
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05
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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Paul Kane can trust no one. Not even himself. He may be a political assassin trained to execute orders with icy precision. He may be a former family man ho had an adoring wife and kids. He may be a trauma patient struggling to recover from a servere head injury. He may be all of these. He may be none of these. But Kane can be dad certain about this: someone, for some reason, is trying to kill him.
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91 minutes of my life I'll never get back. I'm sure a lot of hard work, time, energy and money went into this rare film... one that manages to take a great nature vs. nurture concept and help it go horribly, horribly wrong. Just plain bad: the score, the fight scenes, the plot, stilted dialogue, outlandish timeline, the lack of follow-through and a total black-hole when it comes to real suspense, emotion or anything worthwhile... but wait, what's good? One killer German car. Oh and Louise looks fantastic, sounds fantastic and gets a ton of screentime (the main redeeming factor). // The first 15 minutes of the flick are like a hilariously bad when-doctor-met-patient dating film, but sadly, things don't improve for our girl, though she does manage to get some (talk about doctor-patient privilege!) and save the day in the end (damn, now I've spoiled it). People die... then we go to a birthday party, and there's cake.
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07
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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Civil war has broken out in the fomer Soviet state of Uzbekistan between the repressive Uzbek government and the Al Qaeda and Taliban-backed Islamic Movement of Uzbekistan (IMU). U.S. air power supports the Uzbek military, and journalists from around the workd are woking behind battle lines in a relentless competition for exclusive stories.
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A made-for-tv movie that *feels* like a made-for-tv movie, or a tv pilot; clunky and missing a clear message or path, and characters that need time to grow and flesh out -- the performances (Jeff Goldblum, Lake Bell and Louise) are solid though. Louise lights/vamps things up whenever she appears onscreen with undeniable warmth and charm: The aftermath hotel scene with Goldblum's Ben rings true, and her character's introduction is definitely good for a giggle.
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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03
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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The late Richard Harris's final film, MY KINGDOM, takes place in the gritty underworld of modern-day Liverpool. Inspired by Shakespeare's KING LEAR, Harris stars as Sandeman, the head of a prominent crime ring. After the brutal murder of Sandeman's long-loyal wife the aging gangster decides to give up his fortune and divide his "kingdom" between his three daughters.
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Dark, brutal and disturbing. Louise's part is small yet pivotal -- not a character you'll root for in the least however. If you're looking for a happy ending, skip it.
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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(aka "HEAVEN MUST WAIT")
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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Raymond is the family black sheep, relying on handouts from his half-brother, Otis. He's lost his job, his apartment, and all his confidence until word comes that he has inherited an English countryside property. But Raymond discovers that his inheritance is no manor house, but a small, crumbling stone church that's the center of a scheme by the village scrooge, who's in a frantic search for a chest of gold hidden in the village. Raymond accepts Slee's offer to purchase the church, but has second thoughts when he learns from Rachel, the local Bed & Breakfast owner, that a poor family with children lives on the property.
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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The biblical story of Esther, the Jewish woman who saved her people when they faced annihilation. As a girl living under Persian rule, Esther was kidnapped and taken into the harem of the king, Xerxes. The king, taken by her beauty, made her his queen, and she finds herself involved in a delicate balancing act between the ruling Persians and her own Jewish people.
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[no comment]
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06
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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When an archaeological expedition opens an ancient Egyptian tomb, the unimaginable evil of a cursed pharaoh -- Talos -- is unleashed! But before all are lost, teamleader Sir Richard Turkel heroically sacrifices his own life to destroy the tomb and contain Talos once more. Years later, Sir Richard's granddaughter sets out with her own team to finish her grandfather's work... not knowing that she herself is about to reawaken the supernatural terror of the mummified Talos.
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I think it could easily be considered a bad sign when you spend most of a horror movie fending off fits of giggles. It becomes apparent early that the only real horror is how embarrassing it is that I sat through the whole thing, and really didn't mind. // We first meet our hero Sam in the desert and everyone is flirty and chipper, which can only mean bad things for all involved (it is, btw, a scene which begs the question: Since when is unbuckling one's pants required to give blood?) // Human condoms in rubber boots -- sexy! //
Ok, on to the good stuff: The villain for the first half of the movie is a roll of toilet paper -- no, sorry, one massive tensor bandage. There's a laundry-room scene wherein our heroine is trying desperately to escape and fashions a makeshift flamethrower to ward him off... I was thinking: No dammit, use fabric softener! Use the fabric softener to turn him into Snuggles the bear! (and why yes, I *do* need to get out more) //
The plot is actually not too bad, and the cast does the best they can with the amount of cheese they had to wade through. There's no real character development or emotion (but there is "romance" however forced and crammed in there) but we'll ignore that because, frankly, the cast is gorgeous Though the attractiveness of the cast presents possibly the most contrived -- and strangely hilarious -- part of the film: watching the filmmakers try to seamlessly get them to show more skin in what appears to be chilly wet weather... "Oh, you skinned your knee? Allow me to give you my jacket, so that I may strip down to a not-even-enough-material-to-fully-count-as-a-wifebeater tee! (That said, Jason Scott Lee is one gorgeous man, so we'll let that go.) Louise (with an adorable short haircut, but looking extra thin) is Sam, and in her defining run-for-your-life moments, is dressed in deck shoes, pants and a massive hooded sweatshirt... But underneath, just waiting to be revealed, a sexy black boustier -- A must for any quiet evening home alone, as any proper girl knows. //
Speaking of things most girls know: If you are in protective custody and your guard disappears from his post in the hallway, do not assume he's gone on a pee-break and stop to finish his crossword... However, should you choose to disregard this key info, please don't go involving your poor neighbours in the ensuing mess. //
Late in the movie Talos is reborn and looking to suck face: morphs from a whole lotta angry bandages and plops out into a hodgepodge mix of Newton (the half-boy, half-horse from Hercules), Gumby and a b-movie grey alien before his final transformation... But don't let me spoil the ending. This is one movie you're gonna have to see to fully appreciate.
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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X
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SCREENTIME
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MEANINGFUL INTERACTION
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[logline]
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[no comment]
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