"Heart of the Matter"

Trevor: "People wonder if movies reflect real life. Hell yes they do. I'll tell you how: Both make it as difficult as possible for two people to find each other and fall in love. Think about it; all the barriers that get put in the way of romance, which in movies, is exactly the point -- That's what holds our interest for 2 hours. But in real life, love would hold our interest. Movies end when two people finally embrace, but that is exactly when life begins. Everyone is aching for magic. Everyone wants that moment, in the third act, when their eyes meet, and the music swells, and they fall into their lover's arms. But no one talks, no one connects anymore. Life if a very long movie and everyone is stuck in the second act. This is what I want to know -- why can't we cut to the climax, why can't we move right past all the barriers, and go straight to the part everybody is waiting for -- the part where the guy gets the girl." Video Store Clerk: "I just asked if you needed any help finding anything."

Trevor: (to Champ) "An inspired choice, don't you think?" Claire: "By the muse in charge of rediculous." Trevor: "I'm sorry, can I see your invitation to this conversation." Claire: "I heard what you said Trevor -- Sounds pointless." Trevor: "On the contrary. It is a slam dunk, a homerun, a sports cliché of your choice."

Trevor: "Ask me how I know." Claire: "You'll only tell me." Trevor: "Because I felt it. That's how. There I was, minding my own business." Claire: "Duh -- Already I don't believe it." Trevor: "When I met Dan, met Susan, and BAM -- that feeling came back. That undeniable feeling that two complete strangers are absolutely destined to be one." Champ: "And you felt this how exactly?" Trevor: "Something went off inside of me, hit me harder than that bad curried chilie I ate last week." Claire: "Y'ever think of writing for Hallmark?"

Trevor: "'One more man who thinks he's a god' -- we by any chance just jump to Claire's lovelife homepage? Everything fine with you and Alex?" Claire: "Everything's dandy with me and Alex." Trevor: "I'm getting a feeling." Claire: "Probably chilie coming back." Trevor: "Every relationship has its bumps, okay? The question is, is it a speed-bump or Mount St. Helens?"

Trevor: "You two were supposed to get me one match closer to my magic one-hundred." Claire: "Yeah, well, don't count on it -- I'm beginning to think commonality is a bit overrated." Trevor: "Not neccessarily, passion can burn out." Claire: "At least you go down in a blaze o' glory." Trevor: "I'd rather be a slow-baked ham than nibblet-grizzle." Claire: "What are you talking about?" Trevor: "What am I talking about?" Claire: "I'm saying maybe you're right." Trevor: "I'm saying maybe you're right." Claire: "You're right Trevor." Trevor: "You're right Claire." Claire: "You are." Trevor: "You are." Claire: "You are." Trevor: "You are." Claire: "That was weird." Trevor: "I hope somebody got that on film, 'cause that's the last time that'll ever happen."

Claire: "Funny, when you said 'Charity event for people in need', it never occured to me that there would be a need of a beer-chaser." Trevor: "You caught me -- I fibbed. If this is the part where you take me out back for a severe tongue-lashing, can I freshen up first?"

Claire: "Why am I here?" Trevor: "Lotta theories on that: There's the whole 'Adam and Eve' thing, 'The Big Bang' theory -- not sure that paints your mother in the best light though." Claire: "Again, why am I here?"

Trevor: You know, some people are actually happy to see me when I come by." Claire: "Really? Really? Uh, are they allowed to vote and drive cars and everything?" Trevor: Okay. I'll cut right to it -- I need a cardiologist." Claire: "Cardiologist, why?" Trevor: "Because that last remark broke my heart." Claire: (groan)

Claire: "There isn't a problem. This a bit more of your intuition." Trevor: "Intuition would be merely human. This is a state of knowing reserved solely for the all-powerful among us." Claire: "You know, you might want to soak that head -- it seems to be swelling again."